Writing your life’s story

Are you writing your life’s story for you or against you? You are writing and rewriting your life’s story in every minute of every day. The question is, “Are you writing your life’s story for you or against you?”

Do you believe you have the power to change your story? And therefore, your life. If not, why not?

“The story” is a great coaching metaphor. After all, you are the protagonists, observer, narrator, editor and critic of your life’s story anyway. What’s important is for you to realize that you have the power to change the plot, story type, the underlying themes, and literary genres anytime you want. This is the big secret between those who are living the life of their dreams from those who are not.

Your life is not static or written in stone. Your life is dynamic. It is constantly changing, shifting and transforming. It might not always seem that way, but it’s true nonetheless. Since that is a fairly accurate assessment; why not create your life more consciously? You can write a new story with a better ending.

The best way to evaluate whether your story is for or against you is to pay attention to your thoughts. The easiest way to do that is to write them down.  I am fond of Julia Cameron’s approach to stream of consciousness writing. She calls it “Morning Pages.”  Morning Pages is the number one coaching tool that I recommend. It happens to be the most productive method for gaining clarity about your thoughts that I have found.

Morning Pages work like this – every day, upon rising, using pen and paper (not a computer) write every thought that comes to mind.  Allow your thoughts to flow onto the pages without interruption. You might find it weird and strange in the beginning. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written about my cup of coffee. Or when I am angry just how many  profanities I have repeated over and again.  It doesn’t matter. Just keep writing.

You will discover that when you reach about a page and a half something begins to happen. It is here that the pen practically writes itself. It’s as if you have finally entered the secret combination to your mind. Everything that you are confused about or are subconsciously repressing starts to come out. Don’t worry, nothing you write will be too much for you to handle. This idea that we can’t handle our “stuff” is BS. You are capable and able to process all of your life experiences. You are resilient.

Writing your Morning Pages helps you be honest with yourself and amazingly it free’s your brain up too. That’s because those pages become your garbage receptacle.  You no longer have to try to keep your processing in the narrow confines your skull. Instead, this habit acts similar to taking out the garbage. By doing this on a regular basis, you free up your mind, emotions and senses to process what is in the present.  The good new is this tends to interrupt the habits of obsessing about the past or worrying about the future.

This is not the only thing you need to do to write a better story for yourself. You also need to know what to do with the words you have written. The answer is nothing! It is imperative that you don’t get caught up in evaluating, judging or analyzing what you have written. Honestly, if you were to take the time to read your pages, you would discover that most of it doesn’t make  sense anyway. Remember, you are simply taking the garbage out. Also, don’t be surprised to find similar garbage the following day. We are, after all, creatures of habit. Just know that between the hours of dumping and the following day – your brain is processing more effectively.

The second way to for you to know what type of story you are creating is to pay attention to the amount of drama in your current life.  Drama is exhausting, and it slows everything down.  If there is a lot of drama going on, chances are you have created a story about how things should be. Getting pulled into believing life or others “should be” a certain way will cause you to go against your own current. This is a resistance to life that keeps all the good at bay.  “Shoulding, Coulding and Woulding” are often subconscious and automatic negative thoughts that keep you from the present moment. These thought habits will keep you spiraling in a way that keeps you creating outcomes that do not really serve you.

Lastly, the most important suggestion I have for evaluating your story is to turn inward. That’s right, have a little love chat with yourself. Do you actually like and love who you are?  If not, why not? Perhaps you are thinking, believing or acting in ways that out of alignment with what you know are true for you.  If this  isn’t coming out in your Morning Pages – you will feel it. You will know something is up because you will be  riddled with guilt and shame. If this is true, it’s likely that you need to face a situation and remedy it. Like it or not resisting will never give you the renewed sense of self that makes you feel great again.

Your story always begins with how you see yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the lens from which you relate to others and the world. You have the power to improve all of your relationships and experiences.  It begins with just one little seed thought.  I hope you plant and cultivate a positive thought today.

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