Have you become a good stress manager? Or are you stuck dealing with life’s challenges the same way you have been for years –not very well? Are you resisting managing stress but don’t know why? If you are stuck and unable to manage the different sources of stress in your life, allow me to offer another point of view to get you pointed in the right direction.

We often feel resistance when it comes to change but have no idea why. The thought of change, even improvement, can trigger a feeling of pushing against oneself. But why does this happen?

I’ve discovered that resistance is a natural survival mechanism. It signals us to stop, look and listen to what is happening in us and around us. When not faced with life-threatening peril, resistance is often an indicator that there is a conflict over what you are currently perceiving. Simply, your imagination, thoughts, emotions, and feelings are not lining up. You might have made a logical commitment but are not resolved enough to achieve your goal. At least not yet.

So before you proceed, it’s crucial to realign. If not, you risk introducing doubt and other self-defeating beliefs, all of which will keep you from achieving your desired outcome.

I’ve found it helpful to think of resistance as a giant yellow highlighter for your brain. It is saying “caution” that something is off. Since you already know the change you want to make, resistance alerts you that part of you is not on board?

To better understand what part of you is not perceiving the changes positively, it is best to lean into resistance instead of fearing or ignoring it.

Resistance is not a sign to quit or not try. Resistance is the alert system that is trying to help you strengthen your inner resolve. It allows you to focus on what is unknown, misunderstood, and needs aligning before achieving the desired changes. When you take the mystery out of resistance, you will find you are better able to navigate change and become a better stress manager.

Use resistance to become clearer about what you want, and lean into the discomfort it brings up instead of avoiding it. This will help you better understand what needs to change in order for you to reach your goal.