Relationships are our Mirrors

The Golden Rule … relationships are our mirrors. One of life’s most important universal maxims is often referred to as the “Golden Rule.”  Sadly, I have found that many individuals have misinterpreted the fundamental understanding held within “The Golden Rule.”  Martyrs have interpreted as a belief that they must “serve others before oneself.” And others have contrived it to mean a way of retribution (an eye for an eye). For me, “The Golden Rule” is the true basis for understanding our nature. When we acknowledge and become responsible for that what we do to ourselves, we  do to another, and what we do to another, we also do to ourselves  . . . we embrace life in the fullest. 

This basic idea of reciprocity (a two way relationship of reflective mutuality) is rooted in some way or another into nearly all cultures (including most religions). Not only is it rooted in all cultures, it has been suggested to be rooted in neuroscientific and neuroetheical principles.  For me, this indicates that relationships are the basis of our “being” . . .  an exciting sign post pointing to our interconnectedness.  In this way, the golden rule implies that “relationships” are as much of who we are as is the rhythm of our beating heart.

This precept has been the standard for resolving conflict for eons.  It is not only referred to in the positive form but also the negative form.  There are countless references that point to how much this principle is woven into the fabric of our humanity. “(Positive form): One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself. (Negative/prohibitive form, also called the Silver Rule): One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated.”

Louise Hay, in her book You Can Heal Your Life helps us gain an empowering perspective of relationships that helps us to better our lives and the lives of others.  She states, “Relationships are like mirrors of ourselves.  What we attract always mirrors either qualities we have or beliefs we have about relationships.  This is true whether it is a boss, a co-worker, an employee, a friend, a lover, a spouse, or child.  The things you don’t like about these people are either what you yourself do or would not do, or what you believe.  You could not attract them or have them in your life if the way they are didn’t somehow complement your own life.”

Louise Hay also suggests that we ask ourselves to identify those things we don’t like in another so that we can better see them in ourselves.  When we understand that others provide a reflection of our relationship with our self, we are better able to examine how we see ourselves and the world we live in.  By looking at our limiting attitudes, actions and beliefs we gain the power to change them. It is also just as important to acknowledge those positive qualities we see in others, too, as these are just as much of a reflection. By honoring the good we see, we affirm our own sense of being.  This is the fabric that creates the confidence necessary to express our divine nature.

When we are willing to change those limiting things in ourselves, we heal.  When we remove those limitations (patterns, habits and beliefs from our thinking and behavior) we will reflect new changes in our outward life experiences.  We cannot change others without changing ourselves first.  If we want the world to be different, we must be different.  We must be the change we wish to see.

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