Let Go of Control

How do we let go of control and flow with life? A great master, Krishnamurti shared one secret to happiness. He stated that, “I don’t mind what happens.”  I considered his logic for years and realized that the only way I ever hoped to achieve happiness was through releasing my attachment to having things my way. At first glance, the concept appears easy.  There’s nothing like just showing up and seeing what happens, right? Wrong.  In truth, letting go of expectations is a daily challenge.

My need for the outcome I imagine has ruined or at least challenged my most precious relationships. Many times I’ve gotten stuck trying to save my loved ones from getting hurt.  Sadly, my need to save them only caused them to feel resentment and rebellion toward me.  It has taken me a long time to learn that saving them was just another way to attempt to control.  Trying to control another person is not love . . . its fear.

I continue to struggle daily in remembering to release my expectations for others. Sometimes I have laser like focus. Other times I am completely unaware.  When I remember, I am able to feel the sensations of wanting to control. I breathe into those feelings. I allow myself to feel them fully.  This helps me to acknowledge my discomfort with what’s happening in front of me.  I remind myself that, “This is temporary.” “I can handle what I am feeling and seeing.”   “I have a choice . . .  I can respond or react.” “I do not need to be in control.” “Everything will be okay.” From here, I am able to step back and make the choice to identify more with heart than my head. I am able to move from fear to love.

Learning to face what is . . . not minding what happens . . . provides you with the gift of freedom. We must all remember that we are both consciousness and the one who is experiencing.  All thoughts and emotions change.  Let them move through you . . . take from them their wisdom so that you can dance with curiosity, wonder and delight. Life is constantly unfolding. Flow with it.