Where is your focus? Is it on hiding or sharing?

by Shelly Lynott, February 25, 2016

“Where is your focus?” Are you standing in the center of your being feeling confident in who you are and what you can do or are you spending your energy shrinking away believing you are hiding some aspect of yourself that you somehow believe bad?

While waiting at the dentist office last year I had the chance to leaf through an old People Magazine. A pull quote from an interview with Carrie Underwood caught my eye. It read “I don’t feel a need to rebel. There is no dark side to me that’s going to come out.” It immediately struck a chord. I knew I could use it for coaching. Since then, I have used the quote in several coaching sessions. Every time I borrowed its message, it was helpful. But not because of Carrie’s success and fame, believe it or not, some of my clients don’t have a clue about who she is (that’s the benefit of having clients all over the world). More importantly, her statement made it clear that there is no need to see oneself in a negative light. A vital message and reminder for us all!

“I don’t feel a need to rebel. There is no dark side to me that’s going to come out.”

Positive growth happens when nurtured. Sadly, many of us didn’t experience this with our parents, culture or peers. Thankfully, life and growth don’t end in childhood. You have the choice and power every day to focus your energy on nurturing and bringing out the real you. There is no need to label any part of yourself as bad or good. Who you are is enough. Obviously, I am talking about your core self — your essence. Behaviors and actions are a topic for another discussion. What is important here, is that despite your behaviors, habits and actions it is vital for you to know and identify with the fact that you are an aspect of Life. How can any of life ever be considered wrong? It all exists and is created by something none of us can claim to understand fully.

Least I sound naive, let me further clarify just how much I also understand how difficult it is to know what it means to nurture oneself in healthy and positive ways, especially when one has missed out on the experience of a healthy role model. I encourage you to keep looking and pay attention to those things that resonate with you. If however, you know what ever it is that has your attention isn’t good for you then slow down, step back and remember the most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself 

Could it be that what we seek most in life is to know and love ourselves just so we may know how to love another?